The storm shall pass

This week has been rough.  I missed the gym twice and Brian has not been feeling well.  To top things off, I think my sinus's are rebelling, so I am not feeling too good.  Yet, on Sunday morning, I was up early getting my butt ready to go to the gym.  What the hell am I thinking?  My body is telling me no, but my brain is telling me yes.  Sometimes, you just need to listen to your body.  I found myself crawling back in bed, pulling the covers over my head and just sleeping a little bit longer.  All day I did nothing, I was on my couch nodding in and out of consciousness, I barely even ate food because my stomach was in a knot.
This morning wasn't much different.  I woke up at 5:50 AM to the sound of my alarm, staring at the clock wishing it wasn't Monday.  I dragged myself out of bed, went in the kitchen and made my shake.  After sitting in front of my laptop for about a half hour, I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and back to bed I went.  I reset my alarm and closed my eyes, I was out.  When my alarm went off the second time, I didn't want to move again.  I was mentally berating myself for not staying awake and going to the gym.  I was telling myself that I missed the gym two days in a row, three of the past four days, I was slipping and going to screw up everything I had worked so hard for over the past few weeks.  The mental beating I can give myself is absolutely amazing.
Something happened though, I stopped myself.  I starting thinking about what I was doing to myself.  I was letting the negative self talk come back after a few weeks of getting it out of my head.  I couldn't let this happen.  I got up and realized that I needed a break.  My body was tired.  Brian was sick and I was at the store by myself for most of the week and the stress levels were up.  I am not giving up, I am not throwing the towel in, I am just taking a break.  I deserve a break, I have been working hard.  Instead of fighting, I just need to roll with the wave, eventually it will break.
I just need to remember, progress not perfection.  I am not perfect and I will never be, but I will work on being better than I was yesterday, one day at a time.

"Don't dream it, be it."