Sometimes we need a little help

This is one of my character defaults.  I have a very hard time asking for help, even when things are not going so well and I am struggling.  If you look at the photo...this little tug boat is pulling a HUGE boat.  This is so relative to our lives.  Sometimes we need to swallow our pride and admit that we can't do it on our own.  Everyone need a little help sometimes, everyone including myself.  I haven take a huge step today and putting my hand out there for someone to grab onto and hopefully pull me back in.
Life becomes overwhelming at times and can make your judgement clouded.  Sometimes we need to just allow God to guide us toward our destiny.  We need to let go and let God.

"Don't dream it, be it."

A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.

Since I have started working toward my dream, to compete in a figure or physique show, I have realized I need to set small goals along the way.  A year is a long time, but when you look back it really isn't long at all.  When I first started on my fitness journey, the trainer I worked with instilled in me some ideas that have continued to stick with me.  Jordan (my trainer) always said I should have a long term goals AND short term goals.  That way I would always have something I am working toward, since the long term goals was always something that would take time.  I sat down in the beginning of the month and tried to figure out what I could work toward the next few weeks.  I decided that burning 3500 calories a week was it.  I have had a heart rate monitor, Garmin Forerunner 110, since June of last year and wear it every time I go to the gym or do a workout.  It was time to start using it for something different.
The Garmin Connect program is an awesome tool, but I was really using every feature it has to offer.  There is a section under "Plan" that allows me to set goals for myself.  I chose the calorie goal.  The past three weeks have been HARD.  As you can see, I didn't actually hit 100% until last week.  Between work and life, it isn't easy to get to the gym and have enough time to work toward that goal.  But I am making the necessary changes in my life so I CAN achieve my goals.  I am not making excuses and if it looks like I am not going to hit goal that week, I will add a cardio session in to make sure I get there now.

I will be setting different goals each month, but as time goes on, the 3500 calorie a week goal will still be there.  I want to be able to create new habits.  Once this is easy for me, I will figure out what I should try to conquer next.  Happy Monday!

"Don't dream it, be it."

This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me.

I have one of my best friends to thank for this quote.  She introduced me to Katy Perry and I even went to see the movie she made because of this friend.  The lyrics in this song motivate me every time I hear them.  No matter what anyone says or does to me, they cannot take my heart away from me.
It seems like there are a lot of people in life who want to tear you down, just to make themselves feel better.  Their lives are somehow incomplete and you have something they are lacking.  So these people need to make you feel insecure in your life to make them feel better about themselves.  It is so twisted.  Brian tells me all the time that I need to just ignore others and not let them rent space in my head.  He says every time I allow them the time in my thoughts, when I dwell on something, I am letting them win.  I am giving them what they want, questioning myself, my actions, reactions, feelings, thoughts....essentially questioning who I am .  I am ALLOWING them to win.
It is so hard to just brush things off.  It is hard to not dwell on things, especially when someone says something to knock down your confidence.  This is probably one of my biggest downfalls.  I am still trying to learn how to break this bad habit.  Most of the time, I am allowing it to happen because I want the approval from the people who are knocking me down.  I want to show them I am not what they think, that I can be better, that I am good enough for them, even if it means changing for them.  THAT does not happen now, I have learned NOT to change for anyone.  I still want to prove that I am good enough though.
I have been trying over the past few weeks to use this as fuel for my fire, to push me further in my training, my eating, just use it as my motivation.  As I have said before, success is the best revenge.  I just need to keep evolving in every aspect of my life and continue to be honest and forthcoming with people.  Even if I am not in a good spot now, down the road all of that will be rewarded.
The other thing Brian always says, "Play the tape through."  What will happen if I keep going in the direction I am headed?  Will I get the result I am expecting?  Dwelling on others opinions and negativity...will it take me to the next level and help me accomplish my goals?  NO.  I need to remember this, always.  They can't take my heart away from me, unless I let them.  And it's not going to happen.  Not now, not ever.

"This is the part of me that you're never gonna take away from me." - Katy Perry

"Don't dream it, be it."

Spin Class

I love working out and I love spin class.  I have been teaching class for the past 5 years and was finally Spinning certified in December.  It is a passion of mine and I enjoy sharing my love of spinning with others.  Even during the crazy storm yesterday, where the tornado touched down less than a mile from my gym and the beginning of the class started with a power outage, I still was able to deliver a great workout.  I am happy that I have been been given the opportunity to instruct.
I have toned down my cardio a little over the past few months, but still burn between 500 and 600 calories in an hour.  I have set a goal of burning 3500 calories a week so that I might be able to change my physique slowly and still be able to achieve my goal of putting more muscle mass on at the same time.  I am more motivated now than ever.  It's almost time to head off to the gym.  The link below is to yesterday's workout.

The Ocean Club - Spin by djaime at Garmin Connect - Details

"Don't dream it, be it."

The real journey begins...

I haven't posted on here in a few months.  I still haven't given up.  I am still pushing forward and working hard on my weight.  I struggle just like everyone else, but I have not and will not give up.
Since starting this blog, I have changed my mind a little on what my goals are.  I still want to lose weight, but now I am very motivated to try to compete.  It has been a dream of mine for the past 6 years...almost since I started working out!  In 2009 I was very close to being able to make that dream come true, but a series of unfortunate things happened and put a stop to it very quickly.  I have put a time frame on it now and I have begun my journey to the stage.  This road will not be easy and I am sure that I will want to give up A LOT along the way, but I am determined to get there.  Brian thinks that I can, so as long as he believes in me....I can do this.
The goal that I have set is to be stage ready by next spring/summer.  My main focus right now is to gain back the muscle mass I have lost over the past few years.  For the most part, my strength has not gone away, but I have lost some considerable size since 2009.  I know my weakest points are my shoulders, biceps and triceps, so I am going to need to focus on those closely for the next few months.  I have finally decided to not worry about the fat loss so much right now, since I can't necessarily cut my calories AND gain muscle mass at the same time.  Fat loss will come, I just need to be patient.
I found out not too long ago that I was severely under-eating for months!  I have not really mentioned this in my blog, but I am a part of Hard Core Nutrition, a supplement store in Manahawkin, NJ.  We recently invested in the BodyGem, a medical device which tells you your resting metabolic rate.  Well my RESTING METABOLIC RATE was 1820!  That is really HIGH!  And I was eating anywhere between 1400 and 1600 calories a day, that's what the calorie tracking programs told me I needed.  That's really anywhere from 600-800 BELOW what I really need for fat loss, which means I was stalling the process.  This was a big life saver, I am now less hungry and feel so much better because I can eat the amount of food my body REALLY requires.  I am so excited I did the test, it has made me a happier person because I am no longer starving!
I am sitting down today, after I type up a myriad of meal plans for people from the store, to work on my own meal plan AGAIN and to map out my workouts for the next 4 weeks.  A notebook will be in tote at the gym again.  It's time to get down and dirty and really get myself conditioned for this dream.  I had the opportunity to meet a few more pro's in the industry recently.  Universal Nutrition made a pit stop at the store a few weeks ago and a friend invited my to Diamond Gym with her to meet IFBB Pro Physique Competitor Dana Linn Bailey too.  We have also been to the NY Pro this year and went to Jason Arntz's NPC Muscle Beach last night.  Those are the things that are making me even more motivated!  Especially seeing a friend of my aunt's competing after having 3 kids AND being close to 50 years old.  She looks amazing and has done an awesome job of transforming her body.  I am both envious and motivated!
This post is soooo long today, but there is so much on my mind.  I can't wait to watch my body once again transform and start showing those muscles.  I am ready to start.  I will try to post an update at least once a month, if not once a week.  If you chose to follow me, you will not regret it.

"Don't dream it, be it."

Honesty, Sincerity, Integrity

So, last night I realized something.  I am honest in my words, I am sincere in my actions and I have integrity.  Those things will get you pretty far in life.  I am surrounded in an industry in which people find it ok to lie, cheat and basically steal.  It sucks.  Some people lie about little things, others lie about big things.  It doesn't really matter what you are lying about really, because in the end people will find out what the truth REALLY is.
I can think of a about a half dozen people, right off the top of my head, that have lied to me about doing a bodybuilding, figure or fitness competition.  Men and women.  I am commend these people for trying to sculpt their bodies and get on stage almost NAKED, dieting the whole way and being miserable while doing it.  It is not an easy feat, it is a very difficult lifestyle and challenge.  BUT, what I don't like is when someone LIES right to my face and says they placed 1st, 2nd, 3rd OR EVEN 4th in these competitions.  If you are only competing against 1, 2 or 3 other people, BY DEFAULT YOU WILL PLACE!  WTF?  Really???  I have been disappointed by numerous people over the years who have looked me in the eye after I asked them how they did and they have said with PRIDE, "I placed 1st."  Never followed by, I was the only one on stage.  I have said congratulations to these people, have looked at them in AWE, because I don't think I could get over being half naked in front of a crowd of people I didn't know, while people were JUDGING ME and THEY WON.  But I was disappointed after doing a little recon to find out these people were competing against themselves OR a limited amount of people who weren't anywhere near competition ready.  How is that a competition?
I guess the only way to end this rant is to just say what my fiance always says, "The truth will come to the light."

Keep pushing forward...

The past few weeks haven't been easy at all, particularly last week. My fiancé has been sick and running the store is not easy for one person. I got to the gym ONCE but for the most part was able to control my eating. Even though it was crazy busy, I was able to make it through the week. I even slept in today, I missed yoga, which hasn't happened in weeks. I am not upset with myself. I think my body needed a rest from the daily beating in the gym. I just need to wake up in the morning and start my week out right, getting to the gym. Sometimes you fall off track, you just need to pick yourself up and get right back on. With that said, it's bedtime for this one! Goodnight!