I vividly remember the last time I went shopping for shorts. It was in August of 2015. Friends were coming up from Florida to visit and Brian & I planned on taking them to Atlantic City. I didn't want to walk around on the boardwalk in pants in the middle of August, so we took a trip over to Kohl's. Brian kept picking shorts out for me to try on and asked my size. I honestly didn't even know what to tell him. I grabbed a few pairs of shorts to try on and once again was having a panic attack.
I walked out of the dressing room disappointed in myself. Brian saw the look on my face and asked what was wrong. I answered him, "Nothing fits, I need a bigger size." As we went back over to the racks to find the correct size, we were both squatting down sifting through the shorts. I began to cry uncontrollably. I had gone up 2 pants sizes in a year and everything I had worked for was destroyed in my mind. Brian looked at me and softly said, "Pumpkin, it's ok. You aren't the same size you were when we first started dating. You've come a long way from where you started. You know what you need to do to drop a little weight and I will help you start doing that if it's bothering you that much." HOW I MISS HIM!
Today, I walked into the store with confidence, knowing that no matter what size I am right now I am working on changing it. I know that as I opened the door to step inside, Brian was walking right beside me. I was able to purchase shorts without a mental breakdown today. "Self-care is how you take your power back." I am taking control of my life and taking care of myself. I am alive, I am surviving and I am thriving.
"Don't dream it, be it."
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