Eating healthy...

Trying very hard to eat healthy every day. Pizza & pancakes, yum!

Consistency

I have been TRYING to be consistent with this blog, I have not been doing very well with it.  What sucks is I have time during the day to get my thoughts out, but haven't remembered to do it.  I am still holding strong with my diet and my workouts.  At least I have been consistent in that part of my life!  I am going to try to make my best effort to continue writing on here.  Off to the gym in a few!

"Don't dream it, be it."

Never quit.

So, today is the first day in about a month that I have felt like I am fighting a losing battle.  I have been on point with food and exercise and suddenly my body decides to retain a ridiculous amount of water pretty much OVERNIGHT.  I am frustrated to say the least.  How can I possibly continue to eat right and get to the gym everyday if my BODY is fighting my mind?  My fiance says to make an appointment with the doctor; I am not sure what good that will really do.  Honestly, he wants me to go to a doctor who uses mainstream and homeopathic treatments.  I still think that the doctors think I am crazy.
I know my body.  I see what is going on.  One week out of the month, I am leaner looking and not retaining an ass load of water.  I know I am losing too, but the scale has not budged since I started a month ago.  I was in tears this morning and I am trying to choke back the tears as I type this now.  I don't want to have my efforts go to waste.  I know that internally I am doing my body good, but I want it to reflect externally too.  Have I messed up my metabolism and hormones so much from the years of horrible eating, that my body is rebelling?  Seriously, what do I have to do?
I am weighing all my food for the next week or so.  I don't know what else I can do to change the way I look.  I estimated my food, maybe I was still overeating? I have no idea.  I don't know what to do.  I want to crawl under a rock and hide.

One thing I do know, is regardless of what my body is deciding for me, I am not going to quit.  I will win.  I am not going to let this drag me down and knock me off my course.  I have a serious goal in mind and I will get there no matter what I have to do.

"Don't dream it, be it."

I am not here to talk.

Again this morning, my alarm went off at 6:00 AM and I didn't want to get out of bed. I am tired, I want to sleep, but I got my ass out from under the covers and made my shake and went to the gym.

When I got there, one of the people I am friends with walked up to me and literally got in my face and said "What's up Dev?" and continued to walk right next to me. I was very angry. My response, "I'm BUSY." I don't have much time these days to spend in the gym. I work every day and I have regular life things to take care of. I have about an hour a day that I can take to workout. I may have sounded like a total bitch, but really, I am not in the gym to socialize. I am there to workout and leave. I will wave, I will nod, I will say hello, but to have a conversation or gossip is not a part of my gym routine.
I am done being nice, I am done letting people walk all over me. I am on a mission and I don't care. If you are in my way, I will let you know. If you are annoying me, I will tell you. I won't be rude about it, but I will straight up tell you. I am not sorry either, I am being honest. Just leave me alone and let me do me.

"Don't dream it, be it."

Winners never quit, quitters never win.

It has been almost 3 weeks since I have started my 2nd transformation.  I have been logging my food everyday and waking up in the morning and CURSING my alarm.  Even thought it goes off at 6AM, I still get my sorry ass out of bed.  I have started my 2 day a week 2 a day workouts too.  This is a huge accomplishment for me, since for the past two years I have made it to the gym at most 4 days a week.  I have gotten to the gym almost every day, except the few days I was sick.
The feeling you get knowing that in the end this will pay off is amazing.  When the alarm goes off, I don't want to get up.  I WANT to go back to sleep.  I WANT to just stay curled up under the warm blankets and pretend I didn't hear it.  BUT I DON'T.  I WANT to look my best and feel my best.  The difference in my mood is amazing.  I am happier and I have more energy.  Today is the first day that I have actually wanted a nap.  It's insane.
Brian, my fiance, has been encouraging, as he always is.  He notices the difference in my body.  I know I am losing, even if that God forsaken scale doesn't want to move.  I am eating what I need to eat every day, hitting my calorie count almost on the mark.  I will be better, I will do better, I will succeed.  I am a winner, I am not a quitter.

"Don't dream it, be it."

Success is the best revenge.

No lie.  Success IS the best revenge.  I have been on point for the past two weeks with my food.  I have not lied to myself and have been actually enjoying the food I am eating.  The other day I went to the gym and someone I used to be friendly with was there working out too.  It really amazed me that I looked so much better in two weeks and this person didn't look very different from the last time I saw them about a year ago.  I have to say, it just made me push HARDER that day.  I pushed myself to my limits with my workout, just because I KNEW the harder I pushed now, the better I would feel and look tomorrow.  Sometimes I have to just let those people rent space for a short period of time so that I can push harder.  I want to succeed, because that will make others inspired or jealous.  Hopefully, I can inspire more.  I try to surround myself with good people, but once and a while there is going to be that bad egg.

"Don't dream it, be it."

It works if you work it.

This week was an awesome week for me.  I have been eating yummy food and staying within my calorie range for the day.  I made it to the gym 5 days, even if it was just cardio because I have been sick.  The bigger more exciting thing was putting on my sports bra that I have been wearing an extender in and being able to take the extender OFF.  That means I have lost at LEAST 1 inch around in my "chest" measurement.  One week, more motivation.

Hard work and determination really pay off.  It works if you work it.

"Don't dream it, be it."