13 year difference: Age 26 VS. Age 39
Today, as I look back at these photos, I realize 2005 was a
turning point in my life. I weighed over 200 lbs, wore a size 22 pants and XXL
men’s shirt. By the end of that year, I became fed up with being miserable with
the path I was on. The search for a gym started in January of 2006. I toured
the 3 gyms in Manahawkin and decided that The Ocean Club, now Tilton Fitness,
was the one for me. The day I signed up, a commitment was made to my health and
I made an investment in not only with a gym membership but personal training as
well. I was self-conscious and scared of being in the gym on my own. I knew I
needed guidance in the gym because I knew virtually nothing about working out
and quickly learned that I also needed an appointment to keep me on track. Over
the next year many things changed in my life. I lost 60 lbs and was a size 9 in
pants and medium women’s shirts, after almost 10 years of marriage I got
divorced, I changed careers and became a personal trainer alongside the love of
my life (Brian) and wanted to change people’s lives like I did.
Weight loss was such a small part of the transformation that
came from joining the gym. The path I set for myself all those years ago wasn’t
just about changing me physically, it was also mental. That scared, self-conscious
young woman blossomed into a confident, determined and strong-willed woman. There
have been many years where I gained weight since 2005, one of the things that
was different was my mindset, I knew that it was only temporary and I had the
tools to be healthy again. In May of 2017, I made a real effort to change my
lifestyle again. Unfortunately, 2017 was not kind to me and the universe had
another plan. Many people know my story and know that I lost Brian in June,
2017. He was my biggest supporter and the main reason I am the person I am
today. I could have gone a different
direction after losing him, eating my feelings and falling further off the
wagon with my exercise routine. Instead I channeled my sorrow into something positive
like Brian would have wanted me to and truly discussed just before he passed
away. I slowly got back into a real exercise routine and better eating habits.
By April of this year, I buckled down on my diet more, picked up another spin class during the week and discovered roller
skating as a new form of cardio for myself. It's been about 6 months since I mentally committed to a real change in my life. I weighed 186 lbs, was a size 15 pants and wore a large men's t-shirt. Today, I weigh about 155 lbs, wear a size 9 pants and medium shirt in women's clothing. The physical changes are great, but my mental health is better than it's ever been. I still have my days where I get in my head, I cry over the losses in my life and generally feel like my life is over. On those days, I talk myself into getting to the gym or skating because when I skip I know what I feel like after I do. The mental health benefits that come from exercise outweigh the physical ones for me at this point in my life.
The photo on the left was taken on the first trip in my life to Ellis
Island with the Statue of Liberty in the background; the symbol of liberty and freedom, “Liberty
Enlightening the World”. In a way having that photo taken with the Statue in the background symbolizes the liberation that set me free from being the overweight, unhealthy, angry, solemn, bitter person pictured. Not only did losing Brian, my father and my 2 grandmothers all within a year and a half make me realize how precious life is, it made me return to being a healthy and strong person both mentally and physically.
We only get one life to live and one body to live through, I want to make sure I take care of myself the best way I know how and hopefully help others do the same along the way.
"Be it, don't dream it."
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